HAPPINESS MEANS FREE OF SUFFERING


Happiness means free of suffering: –
Of course, the wish to get free of physical and mental suffering is the legitimate goal of every human being. It is the corollary of our wish to be happy. Thus it is entirely appropriate that we seek out the causes of our unhappiness and do whatever we can to alleviate our problems, searching for solutions on all levels – Global, social, family, and individual. But as long as we view suffering as an unnatural state, an abnormal condition that we fear, avoid, and reject, we will never uproot the causes of suffering and begin to live happier life.

Self-mental Unrest: –
We often add to our mental pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too seriously. Therefore to a large extent, whether you suffer, depends on how you respond to a given situation.
We can see that there are many ways in which we actively contribute to our own experience of mental unrest and suffering. Although, in general mental and emo- tional afflictions themselves can come naturally, often it is our own reinforcement of those negative emotions that make them so much worse. For instance when we have anger or hatred towards a person, there is less likelihood of it’s developing to a very intense degree if we leave it unattended. However if we think about the projected injustices done to us, the ways in which we have been unfairly treated and we keep on thinking about them over and over, then that feeds the hatred. It makes the hatred very powerful and intense. Of course it applies to when we have attachment towards a particular person, we can feed that by thinking about how beautiful he or she is, and as we keep thinking about the projected qualities that we see in the person, the attachment becomes more and more intense. But this shows how through constant familiarity and thinking, we our- selves can make our emotions more intense and powerful.
We also add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, overreacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally. We tend to take small things too seriously and blow them up out of proportion, while at the same time we often remain indifferent to really important things, those things which have profound effects on our lives and long term consequences and implications.
For example, say that you find out that someone is speaking badly of you behind your back. If you react to this knowledge that some one is speaking badly of you, this negativity with a feeling of hurt and anger, then you yourself destroy your peace of mind. Your pain is your personal creation. On the other hand if you refrain from reacting in a negative way, let the insult pass by you as if it were a silent wind passing behind your ears, you protect yourself from that feeling of hurt, that feeling of agony. So, although you may not always be able to avoid difficult situations, you can modify the extent to which you suffer by how you choose to the situation.

Suffering of change: –
It is extremely important to investigate the causes or origins of suffering, how it arises. One must begin that process by appreciating the impermanent, transient nature of our existence. All things, events and phenomena are dynamic, changing every moment, nothing remains static. Meditating on one’s blood circulation could serve to reinforce this idea; the blood is constantly flowing, moving, it never stands still. This momentarily changing nature of phenomena is like a built in mechanism. And since it is the nature of all phenomena to change every moment, this indicates to us that all things lack the ability to endure, lack the ability to remain the same. And since all things are subject to change, nothing exists in the permanent condition; nothing is able to remain the same under its own independent power. Thus all things are under the power or influence of other factors. So at any given moment, no matter how pleasant or pleasurable your experience may be, it will not last.

Suffering in relationships: –
Relationship is a dynamic living system, composed of two organisms interacting in a living environment. And as a living system, it is equally natural and right that a relationship go through stages. Each of us repeatedly go through three stages “Hold me tight”, “Put me down”, and “leave me alone”. In any relationship, there are different dimensions of closeness. – Physical, emotional, and intellectual. Body contact, sharing emotions, thoughts, and ex- changing ideas are all legitimate ways of connecting with those we love.

The taste for suffering: –
The desire for happiness is essential to man. That desire inspires our every act, our every word, and our every thought so naturally that we are totally unaware of it, like the oxygen we breathe all our lives without thinking about it. Even if, ideally the satisfaction of all our desires were achievable, it would lead not to happiness but to the creation of new desires or, just as likely, to indifference, disgust, or even depression. The fact is that without inner peace and wisdom, we have nothing we need to be happy. Happiness is the state of inner fulfillment, not the gratification of inexhaustible desires for outward things.