DEALING WITH ANGER AND HATRED: –
Even though under rare circumstances some kind of anger can be positive, generally speaking anger leads to ill feeling and hatred. And as far as hatred is concerned, it is never positive. It has no benefit at all, It is always totally negative. We cannot overcome anger and hatred by suppressing them, but we need to actively cultivate the antidotes to hatred – like patience and tolerance. In order to be able to successfully cultivate patience and tolerance you need to generate Enthusiasm, a strong desire to seek it.
Feelings of anger and hatred arise from a mind that is troubled by dissatisfaction and discontent. So one can prepare ahead of time by constantly working towards building inner contentment and cultivating kindness and compassion. This brings about some calmness of mind. In seeking to eliminate anger and hatred, the intentional cultivation of patience and tolerance is indispensable. The only factor that can give you refuge or protection from the destructive effects of anger and hatred is your practice of tolerance and patience. When anger does occur, research has shown that actively challenging, logically ana- lyze, and reappraising the thoughts that trigger the anger can help dissipate it.
Patience and Tolerance: –
In our day-to-day life experiences, tolerance and patience have great benefits. For instance developing them will allow us to sustain and maintain our presence of mind. So if an individual possesses this capacity of tolerance and patience, then even in spite of living in a very tense environment, which is very frantic and stressful, so long as the person has tolerance and patience, the per- son’s calmness and peace of mind will not be disturbed. True tolerance or patience has a component or element of self-discipline and restraint, or humility in it. The realization that you could have acted otherwise, you could have adopted a more aggressive approach, but decided not to do so. The end result, or a product of patience and tolerance is forgiveness. When you are truly pa- tient and tolerant, then forgiveness comes naturally. It’s possible to let go of the negative feelings associated with the events.
Meditation on anger: –
For the few minutes of meditation everyday, simply let your mind remain on the resolution not to fall under the influence of anger and hatred. Because if one does become angry, one loses the peace of mind, lose composure and assume ugly physical appearance. Let us visualize that someone whom you dislike, someone who annoys you, causes lot of problems for you or gets on your nerves. Then see how you feel, see whether that causes the rate of your heartbeat to go up and so on. Examine whether you are comfortable or uncomfortable, see if you immediately become more peaceful or if you develop a mental uncomfortable feeling, judge for yourself. So far few minutes, three or four minutes perhaps, judge and experiment. Then in the end of your experiment, if you discover that ”Yes, it is of no use to allow that irritation to develop, then say to yourself” In future, I will never do that “ develop that determination. Finally for last few minutes of meditation, place your mind upon that conclusion or determination.
Anger Patiently: –
To never get angry is a tall order for almost any human being. So when we see anger as failure, and we try not to be angry and fail, it is so easy to turn the gun on ourselves when our anger comes. We blame ourselves and put ourselves down for not being able to control us. Don’t turn the gun in yourself. Don’t give yourself a guilt trip. We spend our lives learning anger, so we are not going to unlearn all the beliefs and habits, which create our irritations, frustrations and angers in a few days, or even a few weeks. So be easy on yourself. Healing the inner scars, forgiving us, transforming those habits, are all aspects of this inner work, and they take a little time. Be patient; be gentle and merciful with yourself. And if you do decide you want to forgive and heal yourself, if you do decide you don’t want to be a slave to others words and actions, if you do decide you want to be free of your negative feelings, one of the secrets is not to fight or struggle with those old habits. Accept them when they come, for whatever reason, and you’ll be amazed how quickly the habit of those feelings is dissolved. All healing begins with acceptance, including the healing of our feeling.