Self-control is a matter of balance. The mid-brain region governs desire. The prefrontal cortex governs control. We work that will power muscle everyday – and like any muscle, it often goes weak. Also like a muscle, however will power can be strengthened and growing number of researchers, using brain scans, virtual reality and more are learning what kind of psychic exercises it takes to get us in shape. Much of that research hasn’t made it into popular consciousness yet, but the more scientists publish, the more we all learn.

Our brain operates at three levels: I will, I won’t and I want. For many of us, the I want part wins. It is easy to call lot of this as addiction, particularly when drugs, alcohol or behaviors like gambling are involved. But that can be superficial. Addiction is not always easy to define, but it might best be described as knowing that substance or behavior is wrecking your life and yet being unable to stop. Failure of will is more about behaviors that are compromising your life – making it less healthy or prosperous than it could be – yet can not quite be controlled even though you try.

But if will power is illusive, it’s also trainable and cultivatable. The simple truth is that the brain evolved from the back to the front. The back is the wanting part. The front is the restraint part, and they are both with us all the time. The goal of the rising band of willpower researchers is to make peace between back and front.

Good Feelings: –

Good feelings for others are like ointments that can heal wounds and re-establish friendship and relationships.

Good feelings are generated in the mind, are transmitted through your attitude and are reflected in your eyes and smile.

Smiling opens the heart and a glance can make miracles happen.

Easiness: –

As we grow in strength in our spiritual life, we give up the habit of worrying. It serves no purpose other than to make us feel tense and miserable. When I stop fretting about things that are beyond my control and focus instead on generating optimistic and kind thoughts, my life can begin to flow in ever more positive directions. Such a light and easy approach to life enables me to take everything in stride.

Personal change: –

When you do not upset yourself thinking about how others must change and instead you concentrate on your own change, good things start to happen. First, you will feel better about yourself. Second, you will start to have positive feelings towards others and start to understand them. Third, others start having a more positive attitude towards you.

There are many hidden benefits in personal change.

Staying Peaceful (Free from Desires): –

Desires cause peace to disappear. You think that acquiring things will make you feel secure, but the reality is that the more you have the more fear there usually is of losing it, and the further you are from peace. Desires are the cause of all conflicts.

When you want something and cannot get it you become frustrated. Learning to be free from desires is learning how to stay peaceful.